Friday, 26 February 2010

schadenfreude. what a delectable word. never mind its origins, gruesome as they are. but still, what a word. it's an evil little word, that finds the darkest parts in us calls them its own. it's like a sort of a visceral red, but it's also a jealous orange, an envious green, a deep, deep black, and even an intellectually superior, philosophically cool blue. there is something about humanity that makes is feel schadenfreude, something about the way we think. do monkeys have it? maybe they do. but it really comes out in humans.

it's what keeps me interested in the internet, sometimes. when i read the blog of an emo teen and think 'you know, this kid seems to think his life has ended. thank god i'm not him. i mean, i might not be the most exciting person ever, but at least i'm not him'. perhaps despite my earlier rant about personal blogs i do have a need for them. i may not like them, but they do serve a purpose. they're like bendy buses, in that way. terribly irritating, but useful to have around, nonetheless.

perhaps my life isn't as exciting as some of my friends', but at least i'm (relatively) on top of my work, and i (sortof) eat well. just think, i could be one of the people on jeremy kyle. while terrifically hilarious, it would also be terrifyingly depressing. india works, on some level, on the feeling of schadenfreude. ok, i didn't top the state, but at least i'm not last in class. ok, i'm last in class, but at least i'm in a good school. ok, i'm not from a rich family, but at least i'm not down in the dumps. that's what keeps everyone going, the knowledge that there is someone else, out there, who has it worse than you.

it's a funny thing to feel, is schadenfreude. you feel guilty when you feel it, but not enough that you don't feel it anymore. for folk like mr emo boy down the (cyber) corridor, it's probably the only thing that keeps him going. what a weird thing it is, to feel schadenfreude.

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