Tuesday, 30 December 2008

one of the things about reading the blogs of family (by this, of course, i mean cousins), i have found, is the tendency to think about the same types of things. there was a post by sita on missing hyderabad, one by swaroop on the madras season that i really liked, and one by suhas on the perils of eating alone that i only fully understood the day before yesterday. despite this, i am still going to write about my experience in madras so far.

the automen who fleece you in broad daylight are now part of the landscape. i'm slowly beginning to learn the art of haggling with them, but the emphasis is on slowly. i got off the train and i just couldn't be bothered. ended up paying 150 rupees for an auto from egmore to alwarpet. seriously sad.

beginning to love the admittedly bad horrible tea at the academy. especially in the middle of a not very exciting concert. appa got season tickets this year, so the waiting in queue for the tickets is eliminated. i still have to wait in line for the actual concert, though.

bookshops have not changed. still just as gigantic as the day i first walked into them.

went to both the t m krishna and the sanjay subramaniam concerts at the academy. i dont know about better, but i definitely like sanjay's style more. it's obvious he has fun. tm krishna sings seriously. it wouldn't kill him to smile just for the heck of it. really liked the ritigowla kriti he sang yesterday. perhaps because i actually understood the words this time.

to understand the taniavartanam one must first learn the language of the mridangam. swaroop pointed out to me yesterday that the guy was playing the same thing again and again, only he was playing it faster each time. i didn't understand it at all until he told me, and only a little bit after he did. oh well, i'm sure i willl understand more given lots of listens.

Kacheris, food, and
bookshops galore, but still, no
sign of a result.

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

it's a small, continuous whine in the back of my head, like an ambulance or a fire truck siren three roads away but getting closer. you know that it'll get here, you're just waiting for it to happen. to rush past you, while you get just a glimpse of the terrific speed and energy contained within it. i'm going to madras, to listen to some kacheris, to dash madly from one sabha to another, and hopefully immeres myself fully enough in carnatic music that i will, for once in my life, be able to recongnise the raga without someone having to tell me. but before i go, there is all this random studying i have to do. bah.

Monday, 15 December 2008

Exams in a month
Cambridge results in three weeks
The work starts right now

Thursday, 11 December 2008

I've never been so nervous. In my entire sixteen years on this planet, I have never been so bloody nervous as I was yesterday. Fuck, I was scared shitless. After school, on the train, the butterflies in my stomach probably caused an existential storm somewhere out there. Then, I got off the train. And it all disappeared. There was a smile on my lips. Somehow, I was feeling better.
I walked to the college, and managed to find some quite nice people. It's really nice, is Cambridge. People are nice, and the place is really quite beautiful.
And the interviews went well. And so did the TSA. All that's left is luck.
Fuck. I have never wanted something as much as I want this. 

*
I fell out of love today. I left Cambridge, and slowly, but surely, I got nervous again. More bloody butterflies. And for the first time, the Tube was slow. It takes three, maybe four minutes between stops on average. That's never changed. But today was the first day that I felt all of the three minutes between one stop and the next. Maybe the butterflies will go away. I sure hope so. But coming to London won't be the same anymore. It'll still be cool. It'll be where all the bookshops are. It'll be where I had my sixteenth birthday. It's just not Cambridge.
Oh come on. Please, people who live in the sky, give me a seat. I will be forever grateful.

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

"twenty twenty twenty four hours to go
i wanna be sedated
nothin to do nowhere to go
i wanna be sedated"

i wanna be sedated
the ramones