Sunday, 14 September 2008

Inspiration is a funny thing. It comes and it goes, and after it's gone you're never really sure why it came in the first place. You think 'Hey, that's a good idea. I could write really well about that.' And then you discover that what you thought you were going to write changes totally. The number of times I have written something that I didn't want to write is quite painful. You know exactly where the story is going to go, you just don't have a clue about how its going to get there. Most of my stories have come about as I try to assemble a larger one. In the BFG, when he mixes all the dreams together, the useless bits fly away. Sadly, these are the bits that finally get posted. The actual story still lies in my mind, too scared to be expressed in case it changes on the way, becomes something other than what I intended. Like Anandanna says on his (now dead) blog,
“Words do not express thoughts very well. They always become a little different immediately after they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish.” -- Hermann Hesse
But sometimes, when I don't think enough about my inspiration, when I am serendipitous enough to be creative just when I am in front of the computer,  magical things happen. I know this. The first sci-fi story was one of those moments. Neither of my articles needed more than half an hour in front of my computer to write, but they're much better than, for example, the God post below this one. Possibly because I sat on it for a while. I wrote down my thoughts, and waited for the right moment to write it. It turned out much worse than the perfect thing in my mind, but I've already used the idea. I'm not goint to rewrite it.
This is another thing that I'm writing not because of any external force, but because my head has too much creativity in it, and it needs to let off some steam. I both love and dread these moments, when my fingers fly across the keyboard, saying god knows what.

My head is finally clear, and hopefully this moment will come again, where I look at the computer and think, 'I need to write'. There is a lot I want to say, but there are no words and no languages to say it in. This blog, I have realised, is an exercise in serendipity, so that I can write mad things without having to think about anything else. Tis quite sad that there is a four thousand character limit on my statement of purpose, because there is now an infinity of thought that has to be compressed into a finity of space. Meaning that there are so many viewpoints to be expressed, so many stories to be told, that I have almost given up.

This is my offical statement saying that I've given up on my last sci fi thing. It'll still exist, but its for you to say where they've gone. On the other hand, I'm going to try and write more sci-fi. There isn't much else I can write, and

Ok, I ran out of steam there. I have to go rad some more and think some more before my next post. But it is happening. It is happening.

1 comment:

Sharan said...

Soumi!
whatever happened there?
(sita rants better :) )
(and i really dont get it ... why in the world does only my blog have no update on the side toolbar?)