Saturday, 22 December 2007

i had a rava dosa in madras today
i am at peace with the world
______________

well, i was, at any rate.
but now, with robert jordan dead, terry pratchett with alzheimer's, harry potter over, and no new fantasy to read, i am dumbstruck.
there is, obviously, no god in heaven. only an angel with a delete button and a sick sense of humor.
what am i going to read now?
_______________

this is an extremely selfish point of view
who cares?
_______________

Dawn of War is an awesome game, i just wish i had bought it earlier
_______________

soumithri: out

Saturday, 24 November 2007

i feel like im in space, and no one can hear me scream.
this is not necessarily a bad thing, since no one can see me run naked in the rain, either.
but since no one can hear me scream, i might as well get it over with.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Saturday, 17 November 2007

Xenophobia

Xenophobia: an irrational, though sometimes justified, fear of foreigners.

Everyone is a xenophobe, whether they'd like to admit it or not. It is a common affliction, and mainly owes its popularity to the fact that every culture thinks every other culture is queer, impractical, or just plain weird. Certainly, all cultures have their own oddities, the
tie being a case in point. No one except those who wear them on a daily basis (and not even all of those) think they are useful, but they are still used to denote status and rank (and in some cases, extreme poshness). Indians have language. If you pick out any six Indians at random, five of them will be speaking different languages (none of which will be English) and the sixth will be able to speak all five (and English). The English have the idea of saying please and thank you, especially when they don’t mean it. This idea has spilt over into the third world, where whenever you call anyone, you have to endure at least five minutes of ‘Please hold the line’ first. It is now amazingly easy to tick off any person in Europe, simply by not adding please to the end of your sentence. It is even easier to appear extremely shallow in India, by doing the exact opposite.
And the accents. Bad enough that there is an English accent. Worse that there are countless amounts of international English accents. But the worst is that each country has its own set of individual English accents, making it impossible to understand unless you've grown up there, or happen to watch a lot of that country's English TV (which is the only reason I am able to understand English at all).
To everyone else, there is just an Indian accent. But to Indians, there are many distinct (Indian) dialects of English, each with their own list of Indian words that are allowed in.
Another distinct feature is the teaching method. In India, if you don't do your homework, you are shouted at for at least fifteen minutes, thirty if the teacher doesn't like you. But whenever you give it in, it is always marked, though usually to record that you got a zero on it. In England, though, teachers actually say (and actually mean) 'Give the homework in by this date, or I won't mark it'. And they use the 'dark sarcasm' that I first heard in that Pink Floyd song, that I've understood only now. The way of shouting at a pupil without raising your voice, while appearing at ease, while smiling.
But if there is one thing that I still can't get over, one thing about England that I really, really think is worth moving three thousand miles, it would be the sunset. The colour of the sky at 4.00 in the afternoon is just indescribable, and it is something that makes me feel slightly better when I come home from school (Well, until the sun starts setting at 3 o'clock, anyway. Once that starts happening, I'll probably be distracted at around 2.45 every day, and I'm sure my work will suffer or something).
To quote Neil Gaiman, an author whose works I like, ' Y'know, most every night it's a bloody beaut. And every night its different. And I think, any god who can do sunsets like that, a different one every night... well, you've got to respect the old bastard, haven't you?'

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

The Law Of BrainPower

The Law of brainpower states that in a classroom, the amount of concentration that can be used on the matter at hand is:
a)fixed
b)directly proportional to its area,
c)inversely proportional to its strength, and
d)never big enough for the whole class

this can be shown through the equation:
I=kA/n,
where
I=concentration,
n=number of students,
A=area,
k= is the constant of proportionality, which can be defined as the value of discipline of the teacher
k rises as the teacher becomes more strict about discipline, and has a value of 0 when there is no teacher present.
Therefore, there is a set amount of concentration, or brain power, that can be used in a class at any one time. The law of brain power states that after the concentration limit is reached in any class, the rest of the students are distracted. If the actual concentration is greater than the theoretical limit, the one (or more) distracted students will disturb the rest of the class until the concentration is less than the limit.
To use an analogy, only a certain amount of individual brains can be switched on at any point in time. If an extra brain is switched on, another brain will switch off to compensate.



inspired by Murphy's Law
discovered october 23rd, 2007

Thursday, 18 October 2007

mi having really strange dreams, and its getting to me

hff..
ok then,

why the heck would
someone actually wake up
on a monday morning, knowing
that there is a whole
week of school just waiting to
happen.

or wake up even
on a saturday morning,
knowing that there's
just a whole day to waste
and you'll feel terribly
guilty
at the end of it.

the discovery has been made,
the inspiration has been found,
(i'm running out of metaphors here)
the whatever it is has happened,
but there's always sleep at the end of it...
so whats the point?

Wednesday, 3 October 2007

do you know that awful cringe feeling you get, when you know that some one is going to be late to class, since he's not here yet and he's in school, and everyone knows that this teacher, of all the teachers in the world, is picky about punctuality, and when he comes in, you think oh god, hes deaddddddddddddd and then you realise, you miscounted, and there's some one else who's also late and just has to come in 5 minutes after the teacher has visibly prevented himself from ripping the first guy to shreds, and as he gets started with the second student, you're laughing at his misfortune and rejoicing that you didn't pick that time to be late but are also hoping that the teacher doesn't look your way and you stare at the floor and hope to your very heart that the problem, the teacher or the student disappear, because there is no way in hell that you are ever going to look either of them in the face again.
and there's the other feeling, the one with relief and despair, because though the teacher's finished shouting at someone, you know he's in a bad mood and one wrong move will send you to the pit of doom, and then the most logical part of your brain tells you 'this is just the beginning...' and takes care to emphasize the dots.

Wednesday, 19 September 2007

lament of a youth in the modern world

My head is being fried
Im being indoctrinated
into believing that the cut and dried
world out there is not only real
but actually makes sense.

That the exams which are obviously so illogical
that make me so
tense
are actually vital to my success

why am i being made
to mug up facts to
learn by rote, knowledge that will fade
into space once i vomit them onto
a piece of compressed wood pulp.

and the system whose very existence threatens my sanity
one that will gulp
my badly remembered rubbish
and translate it into a percentage,
two digits that will shape the rest of my life

to describe my life at an age,
as a page
which is not only
unpredictable
but also so utterly
untranscribable
Blaaargh

REPLY

When does it ever change,
When and why and who and what,
Iambic Pentameter I was taught,
Remember it now,

I do not.

Jumbled algorithms,
And dreams of epic glory,
Fade with time and pass on.
We are no more,
Than those two stupid digits,
Or that one foul letter,

The world judges,
Us by those things,
Because the world
Sucks.


the reply isn't by me (as you may have guessed by the phenomenal increase in talent)

Monday, 17 September 2007

part two- soap operas

we have invented what is popularly known as the 'soap opera'. we have decided that one of the most interesting ways to entertain ourselves would be to watch a tv show that admits that it will never end. characters are killed and resurrected, cancer comes and goes like hay fever, relationships begin and end in the flash of a second, but last a lifetime, and by the end of it, there is so much backstory the only way to do anything is to fastforward a few years and hope for the best.
the ages of the characters is impossible to determine. new characters are introduced out of necessity, but how does everyone manage to look so stunning?. to the layman, nothing happens in one episode. a lot seems to be happening, otherwise the people on screen wouldn't be crying so much, but after its over, all that has happened is the ending, which is invariably a cliffhanger.
the question at the end of it is 'what was the point ?'

Tuesday, 11 September 2007

reading through ian mcewan's Atonement, and it is very plotless. what is happening in the book? there are five storylines, fifteen characters and zero plot.
and then suddenly, halfway through the novel, two kids run away and someone hits someone else. i mean what? what what what what what what what the heck?

im reading neil gaiman a lot, which is probably a symptom of home dislocation. he just thinks of the most bizarre plots and characters and effortlessly tells not only the story, but incorporates everything between humor and philosophy into the book. if you get any chances to read any of his novels, grab them. he's even written several comic books, including the sandman, which is about Morpheus, the king of dreams. i bought two (very expensive) collections and i can't stop rereading them.

i realised exactly how sad i am when i had to read sita's blog to find out that the flyover in hyderabad collapsed.

the maths im doing somehow seamlessly alternates between 'i did this years ago' and 'what the heck is this nonsense and how am i supposed to decipher it???'
my physics teachers are bonkers. they teach physics brilliantly, though.
i am now actually doing homework for the first time in my life.

i need more music.
i actually also need more space on my ipod, since there is no space for my new music, whenever it arrives.

Friday, 7 September 2007

proof that the human being is stupid part one of a many part series

the tie must be the most crappy idea that the english race, or maybe even humanity as a whole, has ever invented. what kind of person would actually knot and then tighten something that is essentially a rope against his neck, and then consider it a fashion statement? because it has pretty patterns on? first, one buttons that top button, the one that you thought never had any use, and then one seems to attempt to strangle oneself. it looks like we've figured what will kill us, and then backed it off a little bit. i mean, what are we trying to say? that we've managed not to commit suicide? it doesn't even have a function. the shirt and the pant we wear to cover ourselves, the jacket we wear because we feel cold (in theory, at any rate), but the tie?

Thursday, 30 August 2007

this is random
each syllable is seperate...

home
school
wii
us
____

Away
come back
foriegn lands
new TV
____

Boredom
Disinterest
Insomnia
Music
____

Sump of Madness
Fountain of youth
Eternal Question
Why me?
____

Bloody cycle
helmet law
half an hour
exercise
____

four lines
poetry
grammar almost
non-existent
____

Senseless Ramblings
Atrophied Brain
Extra marks
for good handwriting
____

Instructions
dont exist
but fill in pronouns
and forget verbs
____

sleep.
eat.
stare.
space.
____

till.
holidays.
end.

responsibilities (or lack thereof)

my exams are over
there are no more equations to process,
no creativity that needs to be forced out of my
brain and onto paper.

No memorising of names,
Places that meant nothing to me nine years ago,
That suddenly gained significance during the past three years,
Once more mean nothing to me.
finally, my dream is here.

but as always, reality fails to meet my expectations.
boredom has taken me,
as I sit in front of a screen
with nothing to do,
and nowhere to go,
I have realised that I
Have no one to be

i wrote this a while ago, after my exams, sitting in manipal.......